Devilish
by Beanacre0
Summary: Voldemort has made a dangerous enemy. He has made an enemy of the Devil. She has agreed to help the Order on one condition, well more like six. Her husbands. But who is the devil? And who are her husbands? OOC HGXSBXRLXSSXHPXLMXDM RWXLG
1. Chapter 1: Hermione's True Nature

This is story is mainly for my writers block and is unplanned apart from a basic plan. I hope you enjoy it anyway :)  
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Chapter One**

**Hermione's True Nature**

Hermione Granger found herself shackled to the wall of the Dungeons in Voldemort's lair. She heaved a sigh and looked around the dank cell. The walls were slimy with dew and moss and the cell smelt like someone had died, which was rather likely considering where they were.

The sound of footsteps made the girl perk up a little. The door swung open to reveal Dolohov.

"Ah, my favourite lackey!" Hermione grinned.

Dolohov stalked over and slapped her before unchaining her. He dragged her out of the cell.

Hermione's grin widened. "Oh, are we going on a trip to see his snakeyness?"

"Shut up, Mudblood." Dolohov growled, his bruising grip tightening threateningly.

"Ouch! Watch it, mate!" Hermione snapped.

They reached the main hall of Voldemort's lair and he threw the teenager to the floor.

Voldemort towered above her, his room full of his minions and 3 secret spies. "Missss Granger. How nice of you to join usss." Voldemort hissed, smirking.

Hermione took one look at him and laughed. Voldemort glared, storming over to her and backhanding her.

Hermione's face shot to the side, her face stinging from the force of the Dark Lord's slap. She turned her head slightly, tilting it, and peered through her lank curls at the Dark Lord.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now I'm pissed." She growled, her voice deadly soft.

Voldemort laughed, causing his minions to laugh along with him. "What can you do, Mudblood? You're bound in chains!"

Hermione held her hands out and looked at the handcuffs binding her wrists. "I know. I do love a good pair of handcuffs, but these are pathetic. I mean, really." She scoffed.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about, Girl?" He snarled.

Hermione shrugged. "Well they aren't very good if I can do this, are they?" She casually opened the handcuffs and freed her wrists. "Ah, that's better."

Voldemort's jaw almost dropped. "How did you…?"

Hermione's eyes became cold. "I told you not to piss me off. Tell me, Voldie, ever heard of Satan?"

"Of course. Satan is the devil, evil incarnate, the lord and master of hell!" Voldemort grinned darkly.

"Not so much Lord and Master, more Lady and Mistress. Thanks by the way for the compliment about being evil incarnate." Hermione said rubbing her wrists.

"What are you talking about, Mudblood?" Voldemort spat.

Hermione fell back and a chaise lounge suddenly appeared behind her in a dark red colour. She clicked her fingers and a puff of steam covered her for a moment. When it cleared she was wearing a pair of skin tight, black leather trousers, a dark red corset, knee high boots and held a glass of red wine in her hand. "I am Hermione Nyx Beelzebub, or you know me as the Devil."

The room was silent for a moment before laughter rang out. Hermione glowered. "Okay, okay, don't believe me. But know this, Riddle, you have made a dangerous enemy today. To get on the wrong side of the Devil is worse than hell."

Hermione threw her wine to the floor, causing it to go up in flame. She spun on the spot and, with a roar of flame, disappeared.

The three spies were stunned, more so than the rest of the Deatheaters. Lucius, Draco and Severus exchanged a glance.

Voldemort stared at the spot where Hermione had disappeared for a moment before whirling around, anger written all over his snake like features. "Get out!" He roared.

Not wanting to incur his wrath, all of the Deatheaters spun on the spot and apperated. The three spies landed on the steps of Grimauld Place, Draco almost falling back but saved by Severus.

"Thanks." Draco smiled with a slight blush.

Severus rolled his eyes and held the door open for the two Malfoys before following them into the house.

They found Hermione, redressed in her jeans and sweater, sat at the table in the kitchen. The three stared at her with wide eyes.

Hermione looked up and smiled sweetly. "Hi."

Severus snarled angrily. "Hermione, what the hell were you thinking?" He spat.

Hermione stood, causing the room of Order members to hush. She hated being told off.

"How did you do it? You had no wand!" Lucius asked.

Hermione smirked. "Do what?"

"Conjure clothes; cause fire, all of it!" Severus snapped.

Hermione pouted and sank back into her seat. The room was silent, everyone listening in. "Spoil sports." Hermione muttered.

"What happened?" Harry asked, cautious.

Hermione leapt to her feet. Somehow, she had managed to redress in the corset, trousers and boots again in the second it took her to stand. "Ok, here's the deal. My name is Hermione Nyx Beelzebub, better known as the Devil, Satan and whatever. I change my forms whenever I want but this is my true form. I like to sometimes play the good guy, guys are suckers for that. That's about it. Oh, and yes there's a God. My beloved brother."

A pin could have dropped and the sound would have echoed in the silence of the room.

"That's all I get? Merlin! You guys have the power of the devil on your side and you don't say a word!" Hermione growled.

"What's the catch?" Dumbledore asked, knowing that the Devil wouldn't just help them for no reason even if her good friends were in the group and she hated Voldemort.

"Oh, nothing much. Just a small matter of, say, six people?"

"You want the _souls_ of _six people_?" McGonagall gasped.

"Not the souls, the people. Men to be exact."

"Why?" Severus snapped.

"God and I have this little thing about families. Our family was rather small, obviously as it was just us, and we wanted a bigger family. God made up this rule that we had to have six husbands and wives respectively. I haven't found my mates yet and I'm lonely. But now, I found them." Hermione explained with a grin.

"Who do you want?" Dumbledore asked.

"Headmaster, you can't seriously be contemplating this! She's the devil, it could be a trick!" McGonagall spluttered.

Hermione's eyes glowed red briefly. "It is not a lie! Do you know how many millennia I have been alone? My husbands would be immortal, but our children would be all mortal apart from the first born to each husband. Why do you think Jesus ascended? He was God and Mary's first child."

"How many wives does God have already?" Harry asked innocently, intrigued.

"He has his six." Hermione pouted. "He's always been first at everything. First 'born', first to find the mates, first to have a child and first to be worshipped."

"So who would you have to be your mates?" Remus inquired from his place beside Tonks.

Hermione bit her lip. "My soul mates and future husbands are Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape."

Chaos broke out.

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Please Read and Review. I hope you liked it, not sure when the next will be done or what will happen :)


	2. Chapter 2: Husbands

Wow, so many reviews already! I'm glad people like this plot idea. I was worried people might think it was stupid. Anyway, on with the story**

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Chapter Two**

**Husbands**

"You can't have Remus, he's mine!" Tonks yelled.

"Are you mad?" Molly screamed, shocked that Hermione was asking this of them. She hadn't quite wrapped her head around the fact that the girl she loved as her own was the Devil.

"I don't bloody think so!" Draco spat.

"Hermione, I'm your professor!" Severus pointed out. She was his apprentice so was still her teacher despite the rest of her class leaving school.

"Miss Granger, what makes you think I would marry you?" Lucius sneered.

"Alright!" Sirius cheered. He was a sucker for a gorgeous girl.

"She's insane!" Another order member called.

"Why does she get all the good guys?" Another grumbled.

"It's not right!" An elderly member tutted.

Hermione had finally had enough of the noise. "OI! Shut the hell up!" She yelled, silencing the room.

"Firstly, Tonks. I can sense souls and their mates, and you're not Remus'. His wolf wouldn't accept you, would he?" Hermione sneered at the pink haired Metamorphmagus.

Tonks glared and stood up, rushing from the room in a fit of rage. She knew Moony hadn't accepted her, but she didn't care.

"Right, Molly. No, I am not mad. I am deadly serious. I need these men and they will find they will come to need me. My darling mates, you don't have a choice whether you marry me or not."

"But, Hermione…" Harry began to protest.

"Sorry guys, but I have waited too long for you all. Try spending since time began till now alone and watching everyone else have children, but knowing you can't have them until you find your soul mate. So you see, I refuse to wait." Hermione ranted.

The six men looked at each other.

"Well, I'm in." Sirius grinned, rubbing his hands together.

Remus rolled his eyes at his flirtatious friend. "Of course you would be. Hermione, I would be honoured to be your husband."

"Hermione, you are my best friend and now, I guess, my wife." Harry smiled, his emerald eyes shining.

"Miss Granger, it seems I have no choice. But I must say, there are worse people to be stuck with." Lucius drawled.

"Yeah, you're okay." Draco agreed. "I'm in."

Hermione turned to the still silent Severus. "Severus? Are you in or not?" She asked softly.

Severus looked at her and sighed deeply. "I suppose so. I warn you though; I am not an easy man to get along with."

Hermione grinned. "I expected nothing less."

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore grinned, clapping his hands together. "Miss Beelzebub, do you want me to do the honours?"

Hermione nodded. "Of course, sir. It would be an honour." She said, slipping back into her respectful role for a second.

She waved her hand and the room melted away in a blaze to reveal a large room. The walls were a deep red colour and the carpet was black. High windows showed flames outside. "Welcome to my manor. The flames are special effects."

Dumbledore waved his wand and the men found themselves dressed in formal black robes and Hermione found herself in a pure white gown with medieval sleeves and a crown of roses.

The other Order members found themselves sat in seats that had suddenly appeared. Dumbledore clapped his hands together and brought attention to him. "Welcome my friends. We are here as witnesses to this joyous binding between seven soul mates."

Hermione grinned at her fiancés who all looked terrified, worried, happy or indifferent depending on person. "Cheer up! It's our wedding day!" She chimed.

Dumbledore withdrew a white ribbon from his sleeve. "Spirit of Magic, bless this union."

A blinding light, brighter than any anyone had ever seen, shot through the ribbon as it wove all seven hands together.

Dumbledore then took out a blue ribbon. "Spirit of Water, bless this union."

A mini tidal wave appeared out of the small fountain in the corner of the room and, like the magic, wove all seven hands together.

"Spirit of Fire, bless this union."

A fiery pillar consumed their hands and when it faded, the red ribbon representing fire was tied in their hands.

"Spirit of Earth, Bless this union."

A flower guided the green ribbon around their hands, once more binding them together.

"Spirit of Air, bless this union."

A wind whipped around them, manipulating the ribbon so it flowed and tired their hands together.

"You have been blessed by the elements. If you are truly soul mates then the bindings will mark you in place of a band." Dumbledore told the group.

A bright light, flashing all the colours of the ribbons, drew the eye. The Order stared as the ribbons faded. All the men hissed and grabbed their upper arms as the binding mark was created. Hermione only winced a little and resisted the urge to rub her hip where her mark was.

"By the power invested in me by the power of Merlin and Magic, I pronounce you men and wife. May I present Mrs Hermione Nyx Beelzebub-Black-Lupin-Malfoy-Potter-Snape and her husbands." Dumbledore concluded.

"I'll just go by Hermione Nyx Beelzebub. Can you imagine writing that name down on a form?" Hermione shuddered.

Dumbledore chuckled. "You may each kiss your bride."

Harry was first. His kiss was tentative and shy as he had only kissed Ginny and Cho before, though Cho was an experience he really wanted to forget. Hermione smiled against his lips as he pulled away. That was her Harry, always the gentleman and unsure about himself.

Next was an eager looking Sirius. Sirius swept her out of Harry's arms, dipped her back and kissed her passionately. His kiss was so different to Harry's. It was sure, confident and all consuming. When he set Hermione right, she looked a little flustered.

Remus was much more gentle, but still passionate in his own quiet way. Hermione decided she liked his kiss the most so far. But she still had the Malfoys and Severus to come.

Draco swooped down and caught her lips. She could easily see why he was called the Slytherin sex god. She practically melted right into his strong arms. She briefly wondered if Lucius was the same.

He was. In fact, he was a little bit better than Draco. It must have been all those years of experience he had over Draco. Hermione completely surrendered to the elder Malfoy's kiss.

Finally, Severus approached. He gently cupped her face before gently brushing his lips with hers. He deepened it and showed off his skills. Hermione was delighted that all her men were good kissers. If not, she was stuck with them for all eternity. Well, at least they had plenty of time to practise.

Hermione turned to the assembled crowd. "Now, if you don't mind, I think its time my Husbands and I enjoyed a little honeymoon. Ta ta." She waved and they found themselves back at Grimauld place, lacking seven of the original members.

"Well that was interesting." Dumbledore remarked.

"Interesting does not cover it." McGonagall sighed.

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Please Read and Review. I hope you enjoyed it and I have a rough idea for the next chapter. Until next time *bows and leaves*


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